Quite a few people don’t want to feel safe, because they have learned that feeling safe is not safe at all.
For them it’s much better to feel unsafe and be vigilant, looking out for signs of danger. The thinking goes something like this: “Don’t let your guard down, because ‘they’ will take advantage of it and hurt you”.
As a therapist I work hard to help people feel safe (a prerequisite of change), but if making people feel safe makes them feel less safe that’s tricky.
That’s a bind and a half!
I’d like to say that I’ve figured out a speedy and foolproof way of dealing with this, but so far I’ve only managed be painstaking and careful about it.